Wait. I taught myself to dj before checking whether there was a WikiHow page? Goddammit.

 

Note to self: Before endeavouring in any future hobbies / socially trending activities, always first seek a shortcut to the new labour of love with a quick visit to wikihow.

 

If somehow, in your incomplete and depraved existence you’ve managed to avoid this prolific resource that services the greater morons of this fine planet, prepare to learn how to do everything and anything as if your entire life was a four dimensional stock photo catalogue.

 

So without further adieu, check out the guide that inspired David Guetta’s career.

 

 

Many a dj would blindly reject the opening sentence. Although it’s often been enough to get by with playing nothing more than a series of trending songs from your laptop, WikiHow knows whats up.

 

 

DJing is as much about fame as it is about being able to use in conversation to court the next poor soul, when bragging about the lines you can help them skip at that shit club you once played an opening side room set at.

#2: Get fans. Crucial.

 

 

Is that even an option? Stop playing Wiki. If your set isn’t filled with EDM banger after EDM banger, regardless of the venue, you’re doing it wrong.

 

 

The best thing about being a producer today is that you can literally have the musical talent of a deaf constipated donkey. Slap two songs into Ableton and you’re 97% of the way to adding the big “P” label to your Facebook page.

 

 

Never be afraid to work it. Show the crowd you’re live with a few scribble scratches.

 

 

Wiki’s obviously stuck in the past. Beat matching is for dinosaurs.

 

 

Not knowing what music you’re into before Djing doesn’t make you a dickhead, it means you’re open to explore a world of possibilities. Think of all the hip-hop / hardstyle mash ups that are screaming out to be combined, just like an arranged marriage.

 

 

All the gear, heaps of idea. Tick.

 

 

Pro tip: Demos you record at home can be easily disguised as mixes in clubs, relieving much of the pressure of having to pay for, or learn about the equipment used out.

 

 

Words: Carlos Danger