I don’t exactly like the thought of the Oz Government slidin’ into my DMs, or as effective of today my metadata. This means even if clear your history of Pornhub searches, as of today your telecommunication company now legally has to hold onto your data.

The mandatory data retention scheme was introduced into Parliament in 2015, subsequently letting us push it into the ‘worry-about-it-in-2017′ pile — along with Trumps inauguration and your 2015 taxes.  This data retention scheme pushes for telecoms to not only log what you do, but your location and time stamps. So all in all, privacy is now a thing of the past.

Subsequently, Digital Rights Watch have declared today as the National ‘Get a VPN’ Day. A day dedicated to spreading awareness on how to protect yourself (and your browser history) from Government creepers.

Now I know what you’re thinking, how the hell do I stop this? So, we have pushed aside the fancy tech terms to create your guide on what the fuck to do. 

Understand What The Hell A VPN is. 

To put it in terms we can all understand, a VPN is a Virtual Private Network. 

This is a security method that encrypts the traffic going to and from your computer helping protect your data from public access (or in this case Government access). Your ISP (Internet Service Provider) can collect all the data that passes through their services, but when using a VPN your ISP can only see once source of traffic — your VPN.

Find Yourself A Goodie. 

The world of VPN’s is hard to navigate, laced in jargon that will just make you feel like going ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

To look at it simply, it’s like searching for a service provider you want the best value for your money that suits your needs. The difference is with VPNs is that you have to make sure to take into account how they block the big dogs in Parliament from seeing you’re drunk Google searches.

Now we aren’t going to suggest one because quite frankly we don’t know how weird you get with your searches, so we recommend taking a look at this table by PC Mag.

Shout ‘Get A VPN’ From All Rooftops 

Well not literally, but do spread the word on the data retention scheme and how to get a VPN. It’s a massive Government operation that stores all your personal data in the name of Straya’ and most Australians are clueless.

National ‘Get A VPN’ Day is also the perfect time bitch and moan about the Government. Post a status, share this article or write a strongly worded letter to the Australian pollies.