As you can imagine, the Olympic Village is practically a giant orgy filled with the most successful and physically attractive people on earth – something far beyond the comprehension of the average television viewer.
An Olympic athlete’s libido towers over us plebs – being over quadruple the size due to ridiculous workout routines and schedules.
You’re probably thinking to yourself, “How do they find time for sex between training?” Well, when it comes to sex, there’s truly no limitations.
We need to understand that these athletes do not obey by the usual laws of gravity and society. These godlike creatures find no obstacle too difficult.
Apparently, by the time it takes one of us ‘normies’ to do a pushup, an athlete has already completed their workout and found time to have sex with a fellow competitor.
Kind of makes me regret not taking up athletics as a kid.
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My husband loved the Olympics until I started commentating and holding up score cards during sex.
— Maybe She… (@CantWaitToNap) February 20, 2018
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Sex with my ex-husband was like the Winter Olympics…only happened once every four years and when it did it was cold and boring.
— Agent Mulder (@DoubleD_momx3) February 22, 2018
The Olympic Village purchased 450,000 condoms for the 2016 Rio Olympics (enough for each Olympian to have sex 42 times). In 2012, 100,000 condoms were used in the first week of the games, calling for an emergency order for more.
If that doesn’t put into perspective how much fuckery happens in the village or puts you in a state of confused envy, I don’t really know what else to say.
With the Winter Games drawing to a close on Sunday, the world has left an impressive mark on Pyeongchang – the use of Pornhub and Tinder spiking a staggering 348% since the beginning of the games.
Woah.
I wonder how many olympians went at it during the closing ceremony …
