Hey, how is humanity charting this week, you ask?

Terrible. So, so bad.

What are the kids up to, you ask? Well. You probably don’t want to know. No, actually, you definitely do not want to know this.

No, tell me, you say blithely. I don’t want to, but I suppose you need to know.

This week, the kids are sucking up condoms through their noses! And THEN, they are pulling on them, out through their mouths! And how cool is this – they then post a video of it, that will weirdly pop up in your suggested vids on YouTube, and you’ll watch it, and you’ll gag.

This actually dates back to 2007, but there has been a resurgence, because I guess dying by way of Tide Pod is too mainstream – why not just choke and go out with a bang? Poison is too damn quiet, don’t ya think?