If you don’t give a shit about the state of your heart, then keep on reading.

 

A cafe in Adelaide is offering up coffee they claim is 80 times stronger than an espresso. It’s called the ass-kicker and it’s served at an appropriately named cafe, Vicious Coffee. Yep.

 

photo by Sarah Lawrie.

 

Okay, lets break this down: The beverage consists of four espresso shots, eight 48-hour brewed cold-drip ice cubes and a ten-day brewed cold drip. And here’s the kicker (literally), each ice cube has two shots of espresso.

This means a cup of the ass-kicker iced coffee has 80 times more caffeine than one shot of espresso and 50 times more than your regular cup of coffee. Usually, one espresso has around 64 milligrams caffeine, whereas the ass-kicker has a solid 5 grams. Dayum.

 

Photo by Sarah Lawrie.

 

The drink was originally created for a nurse working a night shift in the ER. Apparently it took the nurse two days to finish it and she was awake for three days. And while the beverage may have been toned down for coffee drinkers at the cafe, the amount of caffeine in the ass-kicker is still half the amount of a lethal dose and can keep a human awake for 12-18 hours.

 

Photo by Sarah Lawrie.

 

That’s a lot of maths for a cup of coffee. Brb, curing this caffeine headache with a crappy coffee from 7/11.

 

Words by Mahene Khan