Beer pong is not just a drinking game — it’s a recognised sport.

Maybe we’re biased due to the face that we’re up to our ears with red cups in this office, but the humble red cup shouldn’t just be limited to cheap ass beer and the occasional goon. I’ve even saw a co-worker fill one of our cups up with a coffee (no judgment it was a Monday morning and who the fuck wants to wash up then).

So choccy milk? Triple J bring it on.

To celebrate O Week in true university style, we have put together an educational guide on who to expect in the choccy milk game.

 

The Law Student AKA The Rule Nazi. 

 

 

Taking the game way too seriously, the law student will make sure you know that what you did there is in fact illegal in the beer pong world. They’ll also insist that you have one glass of water to every cup full of choccy goodness to ensure no one gets a sugar high.

Playing against them isn’t fun, beating them will be tough, but winning? That’s very, very satisfying.

 

The First Year Kid AKA The Newbie 

 

 

The first year kid can be spotted looking lost with a backpack full of textbooks. They need a little guidance, though don’t let yourself get cocky due to a little thing called beginners luck.

Their eagerness to get involved in the Choccy Milk Pong is sweet at first, until you realise their stomachs are cast iron from chugging back cruisers at Schoolies.

 

The Lecturer AKA The Old Man 

 

 

Usually sticking out like a sore thumb, the old man can be seen trying to convince students to take up extra curricular study or argue that his lectures on the financial stability of the economy are not in fact that dry. You may laugh when he joins in on the choccy pong activities, but he is numbed by a university education that lasted eight years.

 

 

The Ski Club Kids AKA The Drinkers 

 

 

Beware of these kids — they’re just at university for the party and the subsidised ski trips. They will look for any excuse to chug down the spiked-with-alcohol-choccy-milk and even if they lose… to themselves they’re still a very drunk winner.

 

The Engineer AKA The Hustler 

 

 

The engineering kids will be either have note pad in their hand working out the perfect formula for pong trajectory or they’ll just want to get drunk. There is no in-between.

What you have to watch out for is their engineering gang helping them out, they’re a tight-knit breed with years of bonding over mutual hate for core units that have no relation to their degree.

 

The Business Student AKA The Smack Talker

 

The self appointed champion of choccy milk pong, business students will have no trouble telling you about the time everyone ‘basked in their beer pong glory’. Combing smack talking and an unhealthy use of the word ‘bro’, they will probably try to pitch you why they are the king of beer pong even if they lose.

 

The Arts / Media Student AKA The ‘Whats-The-Rules-Again’

 

 

They don’t know the rules, let alone what they are studying at uni and if you dare question what their major is, they will ramble on about their irrelevant thesis. You will have to guide them through the game, but as the game rolls on their underdog style will prevail… leaving you spewing up from too much lactose.

 

Welcome to O Week kids.