While awards ceremonies don’t always get the message ( #oscarssowhite), nominated films are often spearheading social agendas, such as gay marriage, racial equality and transgender rights.
However, no one seems to be seeing what these film awards are really promoting.
The real endorsement. The real agenda.
Here it is: The crème de la crème, the internationally acclaimed, the award winning films that endorse having sex with weird shit.
5. Sexing Siri (Her)
Theodore Twombly, who is one lonely dude.
In an attempt at finding companionship, Theodore buys what is essentially a super high-tech version of Siri, Samantha. In a stark contrast to 2018 Siri – who can’t respond to basic commands – Samantha turns out to be a pretty hot operating system.
Theodore falls head over heels for her, culminating in potentially the weirdest phone sex scene ever.
4. Getting Hot For Car Accidents (Crash)
Crash is a cesspool of weird sexual kinks. All of the characters get-off on car crashes which, as you can imagine, makes for a pretty wacky film full of fun adventures. This wackiness climatically (heh) manifests in a scene where protagonist James fucks a car crash wound in the back of his girlfriend’s leg.
3. Pre-Cum On The Peach (Call Me By Your Name)
The most recent Oscars ceremony was deep in praise for Call Me By Your Name, which totally glorifies having sex with inanimate objects.
In 1983, seventeen-year-old Elio falls in love with postgrad student Oliver, who’s come to stay with his family. What follows is sexy summer fling, featuring make out sessions by the lake, sexual escapades in Rome, and an actual peach fucking session.
While I personally loved this film, I’ll be the first one to admit – watching Armie Hammer try to eat the peach after was just kinda gross.
2. Neon Necrophilia (The Neon Demon)
This psychological horror follows a group of models who move to Hollywood in an attempt to make it big. One of the film’s most terrifying moments is when one of the models – Ruby – sexually assaults a female corpse in a morgue. Apparently, both consent and a pulse are not on Ruby’s agenda.
1. Fucking Fish (The Shape Of Water)
Look, I get it, it’s a beautiful film. It has some stunning cinematography, some heartbreaking dialogue, and Sally Hawkins is legit. One of Guillermo del Toro’s best works, for sure.
But, come on. She fucks a fish.
It might be consensual, but it’s still a FISH.
You know what else is hot? Incestuous sex. We asked the Game of Thrones cast what’s going to happen in season 8.
